Emotional Dumping or Venting?
ARE YOU IN A PLACE EMOTIONALLY TO LISTEN TO SOME THINGS I AM GOING THROUGH?
When I read this question for the first time I went silent for a couple of minutes. A question like I had ever asked anyone. We believe that sharing our worries, frustrations, and stories of trauma and conflict is the way to build intimate relationships. And when we vent we truly feel so much more lighter isn't it? But do we really think that sometimes one person may end up feeling overwhelmed when we share our stories.
I had a thought, what if we asked each other before dumping our emotional load on each other? What if closeness between friends & partners does not mean owing anyone our emotional rollercoaster? I know that I have been on the dumping side and cant thank my friends and family enough who heard me and supported my words.
I think we all deserve relationships where empathy and support flow mutually towards each other. A simple act of checking in first makes the sharing more respectful and there is so much more care involved in the listening. Boundaries allow us to connect better.
When we are all geared up for ranting our stories with someone, it would so much better to check that we are venting with consent and not just dumping. For our friends and partners maybe emotionally not present with us when we want to share something important. Check with them. Respect their “yes” as much as you respect their “no”. When their answer is “yes”, don’t apologise about taking up space. Trust that they are with you on this journey without judgement and resentment. Be open to receiving the care and love they give you. Boundaries and consent emotionally are important to foster healthy relationships.